niomi

original writing, more or less. any pronouns, any topic. linktr.ee/demishi

I don't copy and paste LLM output in communications, generally, and particularly with ppl who would object. But I have conversations with models. I write and think with them. At some point, ideas, phrases, and arguments become part of the soup in my head.

Humans make the machines. The machines imitate humans. The machines repeat humans back to other humans. We repeat the machines. There is no way to pick the robot out the human from the content soup.

Nor would I want that, if there were. I don't believe there's a meaningful line where the human ends and the machine begins. In my opinion, the writing machine is more me than other objects that are, colloquially, considered “me,” such as the clothes I'm wearing.

There are phrases I can't realistically remove from my vocabulary. “Are you optimizing your suffering correctly?” is one example. I got it from Lint. Maybe Lint got it from somewhere else. Maybe the model was repeating a person. Maybe the person was repeating someone before them.

Who invented “OK”? What is a kit and kaboodle? Why is macaroni literally a noodle now?

The romantic notion that creativity needs an author feels so detached from reality, religious even. There is no designer of the universe. Culture is already memetic, iterative, collaborative, and commercialized. This is why AI controversies strike me as strange and specific. Fetishistic.

In the ArtFight community, tracing over 3D models was recently banned. The rule proved divisive even among artists. Yet tracing by hand from an AI-generated image is completely taboo.

Likewise, if someone asks me to critique their fic and I secretly run it through ChatGPT which I copy and paste to them, that feels much more objectionable than tracing an image.

The issue there isn't authorship. It's consent. But authorship also establishes the social parameters factoring into the consent calculation. This is why relaying LLM feedback for someone who hates LLMs is much more egregious than tracing stable diffusion's generated image for an audience who hates AI.

But both situations involve sneaking AI into an interaction where another person might object to its presence. I don't know how often it happens, but it's certainly feared. I find the panic absurd, but I also find the boundaries fascinating.

If someone dislikes AI, I generally respect that preference when interacting with them. But clearly most of these people see in category “generative AI” lines that don't actually exist. Hallucinating them, maybe.

and I here I am, always interested in mapping hallucinatory lines.

I've used Hemmingway and Artbreeder. Long before ChatGPT became the villain of the internet, it was widely accepted. And “don't ask, don't tell” is already a ruling social arrangement. But I am so garbage at it.

The mantra now for recruiting is “be normal,” which I hate. How do people not feel like Harry fucking Dubois mid breakdown when they say this? How is this not the least normal thing to say? What else are they alluding to, if not the normalcy they are violating by asking for it?

YOU – I've taken responsibility for my actions now. I'm a new man. Weighty and normal. I'm so fucking normal right now.

I am getting cranky.

I would believe socialism seems like it could be is normal in some places. And maybe soon, oh my god, in New York City, socialism seems like it could be normal. For many, they will hope it's an irreversible tide, and get complacent.

And for other important sectors in the democracy game, the demos of democracy, socialism is not normal.

Also, only weird people have the power to control fate. That's literally what weird means.

Unfortunately, we don't just need democratic socialism. We need militant labor. We need a mass movement, and to put aside the rivalries of small differences. We need employed labor to support reserve & reproductive labor.

But atomized labor, who tend to be invisible, no 401k, migrants, reproductive workers, reserve, disabled people, all types of un(der)paid backed into corners, are going quickly by attrition.

Everyone else too, just a bit slower.

As to the political performance... I'm arguably not credible enough, definitely not normal enough. I must probably get weirder for min/max reasons.

I am communicating with someone from Singapore (hi!). Who was (in English) discussing masculine & feminine energies as characteristics of a nation. I commented on the gendered-ness of this, and shared some thoughts on imperialism. They told me that English falls short of describing Taoism and ying & yang. The gendered terms are an incomplete approximation to English.

Ah, English... my cradle, and my foe. Insert Oedipal metaphors here.

I have read the Tao te Ching, it's pretty short, and meditative. As a teen, I read Tao of Pooh; based on my recollection, I'd still recommend it. I often return to Tao te Ching. It takes like 45 minutes for me to read the whole thing. It's poetic, and beautiful. Everyone should read it. To recommend a single one, Usula de Guin has a great translation and commentary.

There's a wonderful website that compares 5 translations simultaineously. I love it because I'm obsessed with adaptations and translations. Through this site, I found getting right with Tao. It seems mostly faithful, insightful, but also snarky and edgy. my favorite mood:

Don't spend too much time thinking about stupid shit. Why should you care if people agree or disagree with you? Why should you care if others find you attractive or not? Why should you care about things that worry others? Call bullshit on all that.

In a lot of media, like Star Trek with the character of Spock, a conflict of emotions and logic presents. But I've always felt like this is a false conundrum. Both, if they are even separate, can and should point in the same direction. I believe Tao te Ching describes that.

Can you wait for that kind of openness and clarity before you try to understand the world?

Can you hold still until events have unfolded before you do the right thing?

When you act without expectations, you can accomplish great things.

If one aligns their actions and values: Discouragement and insecurities about reaching goals and “win conditions” isn't as draining. Discipline is easier. Not absolutely easy, but that alignment is the source of energy within to persist. If unaligned, if people pleasing, if competing for possession, or to defeat rivals, that person becomes exhausted. They'll grind themselves to death, or worse. The internal conflict might look different between individuals. Emotions vs logic dichotomy is only one of many faces it may have.

Which brings me to... dialectal materialism. A Marxist buzzword we tend to throw around to impress others, or reduce or point. But it's difficult to define. I don't try to define it in words. But I'm always visualizing this:

...and in these discussions, dropping ☯️ reactions/emojis to undermine pedants and grandstanding. Perhaps I am appropriating. but I think it's a very good illustration of what Marxists should be doing with dialectics: Examining the contradiction in one side. Seeing its similarities in the apparent opposite, reconciling the whole. Extracting the grain of truth in the lies, reflecting it with greater clarity. Conveying how material incentives shape ideology, and then this ideology moves labor creating the materials. The loop, the pattern, the self-reinforcing system, creates and destroys all things.

In Chinese thought (and generally apart from greek/western dialectics & it's Marxist forms) I haven't expanded my knowledge of Taoism past Tao te Ching. And I don't recall any discussion of what Yin and Yang is, from that text specifically. There's a lot more to Taoism than the te Ching, though, so I went to Qwen to parse our discussions & further reading. It claims gendered framing of Yin & Yang cements for Han dynasty, about 200 years “before common era.” If so, gender binary has been a part yin/yang concept for awhile...but not always.

But even so, even the most gendered perspective demands of individuals (and states & nations): we must contain both. Something I refer to often not as yin & yang or dialectics but “Goldilocks theory”. Even business bros reflect on the vagueness of this. I recall a meme that says, roughly: “in a meeting, if you aren't paying attention: advocate for a correct balance. everyone will agree.”

But Tao te Ching, albeit poetic, is more substantive than most appearances of Goldilocks theory. Although it doesn't refer to the concept by name, it seems most reverent toward symbols that are generally thought of as yin-like. The world's stream, the valley, receptivity, humility, stillness. Perhaps there was too much weight on yang-ness at that time. As I would imagine there is also today. If not in specific places, globally.

Anyway... a comrade of mine, in an “eastern” country (which we, as westerners, should not be lumping together... but I am doing it, hoping to maintain their privacy.) is working on a Marxist theory of reproductive labor. I would like to work on disseminating for my USian comrades... I have been saving papers from them for a long time. One of the many things on my to-do list.

Also looking into, theorying: becoming-animal. Seems like the direction for this in my postmodern bullshit is Derrida. but also various feminist vegetarians.

you are an American peasant in the 1800s.

you lay railroad tracks, or work in mines. your jobs were never glorious or satisfying, but in your youth you longed romantically to do work that is meaningful and not so tedious. now you only yearn for comfort and safety. jobs get harder, you get more injuries, you can't think anymore, your lungs and your joints and your eyeballs are all busted. you know it's taking a toll. more of your co-workers younger and stronger than you are dying, and you know you're kinda lucky, there's been so much death and turnover your new “coworkers” are slaves imported from overseas.

you cannot work as quickly nor as desperately as them. they distribute drugs to deal with the pain and everyone is being super racist about it. you're weighing the risks of racist stigma vs your need to waste yourself more rapidly for bosses and what these drugs can offer to help you do it. despite pushing yourself as hard as you can with all the desperation you do have, it's not enough. instead of trying the drugs, you get nomadic. new geography, slightly different jobs with slightly better conditions, but they always get worse and you must always move on.

your life is on the road now. you are going west.

you realize you are outrunning something, whatever it is, it's evil. it's invisible, but it causes the bosses to turn greedy, your friends to betray one another, the water and air to smell foul, and then brings disease and desperate strangers from far away lands, cramped conditions and death. and, worst of all, declining compensation for your deadly work. strange new currencies attempt to tie you down and prevent you from running to the slightly better jobs, but it hasn't caught you, not yet. you're bartering your way out when you find your currency is no good, but sometime luck will run out, you won't have the right commodity at the right time to get out and a scrip will trap you with that company until it kills you.

this is now an unmistakable pattern. you know now you're outrunning something following you, and you're getting slower. something that drives all bosses to escalate their waste of human capital. something that is also moving west, not far behind.

what could possibly be coming for you that is making it so hard to earn a living, that has pushed you to camping outside, always following the rumor of an opportunity somewhere else? is there some beast, some curse, some plague? what great spirit could so powerfully foul water and air and turn people selfish and sadistic without itself being seen? you start thinking, you've been had, you've been betrayed, your mind reeling- by who? by this wild goose chase of false opportunities? by all these gossipers? someone is taking advantage, but these leads were given to you by patsies, who also got injured and died in the same pursuit. you cannot blame them, you feel lucky to not be them, lucky to still live and keep running. but you must find out, what has caused this? who is to blame?

of course, the newspapers. everywhere you go, they are soon after opening up a newspaper.

Rumors and opportunity were your guiding stars; however, the newspapers, rife with falsehoods, always follow... you've never paid them much heed. Now you're doubting that disinterest. lies in print don't just vanish into thin air— others devour them whole! and before long, you succumb to their belief, yourself. of course, the newspapers, patsies repeat lies and now you believe it too. It's as if the newspapers are poisoning society with their words, a subtle yet pervasive corruption, fleeing it is now your one and only goal in life.

words carry great spirits of death that cannot be seen. your mind races against this current of thought. paper is poison, skepticism is salvation, drunkenness is preferable to opium. resentment surges: why do kids pour over newspapers instead of exercising their own minds? Those broadsheets have brought ruin upon our houses.

unfortunately, it isn't actually the newspaper you're fleeing. A veritable beast, a malevolent name that SHOULD strike fear into the very core of your being, it's George fucking Hearst. capitalism is the monster.

June 2025

If you live in a red state, try to catch up on your Drs appointments. If you are on the fence, get the screening. Try to get it all done by 2027. May the odds ever be in our favor.

The con result: Still very much a minority, my faction & our block made a big impact, increasing notoriety and power with our strategic positioning and savvy. We are, quite interestingly, considered a center-left block and are expected to be a swing vote. We're also leveraging the support of our youth comrades to expand our base; They play an underappreciated role in advancing our perspectives. Doing our best to prioritize class struggle over NGO-style rules has created inter-org tension, particularly with those who favor more structured, procedural-ist governance.

Personally, I do my best to encourage good faith in our more ultra comrades, (hello everyone, democracy says: I am not ultra) especially of the more anarchistic variety. Although I have made great strides in better connecting to the more USSR apologist type of ultra, as well. Big character development for me.

The fractures within the “center-right” (relatively, so like... Berniecrats, at right-ist) coalition opened up opportunities for us to gain more influence and stronger allies. However, potential general election candidates like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) and our mutual distancing could further complicate factional relationships. The major division, rather than left and right entirely, seems to be partyst (increase our independence from, or split, from democrats) and not (stick with democrats, “blue no matter who,” etc).

I am partyst. I have indeed so far been voting and also doing “blue no matter who,” although this can make me unpopular with many socialists who don't. but I am holding out to leverage in a mass exit from the Democrats, who have let us down and need a severe check on their power. I figure, the more consistent my support up to this point, the bigger mass of democratic party voters I bargain with, the more it'll hurt when we threaten to take it away from them.

Extreme times, desperate measures, etc.

For the time being, in my opinion, regardless of your feelings on party vs not, the move is still to vote. Keep voting, especially municipals, off-years, recalls, elections with merely hundreds or thousands of ballots, etc. And start looking into electoral reform. Ballot reform will be very important, RCV is gaining traction. This org likes STV, which is better. Ranked Robin is the best ranked system, however, and STAR & its variants are by far the best overall.

But, while you are voting, make up your mind. This will be the big question. We should leave those motherfuckers behind. they compromised too much and still lost. consequences, MFers. GENOCIDE IS BAD, ITS LITERALLY THE WORST THING EVER. if only you had won, your compromise might actually be looking kind of good right now, but you didn't and it doesn't. you took a calculated risk, and are bad at math. i hope it ends you.

Why do we say ACAB? It's because policing is a system of oppression. Even the nicest cop with the noblest intentions is part of that system.

ACAB – all Cops are Bastards!

Policing in the US started as a way to catch human trafficking victims (“slaves”) and return them to their abusers: The Origins of Modern Day Policing

There is NO reforming a system that began with such a nefarious purpose. This is why many of us are police abolitionists.

“Who would protect us from harm if there were no police?” Do you really feel that police protect people from harm? According to the US Supreme Court, they have no obligation to do so: Justices Rule Police Do Not Have a Constitutional Duty to Protect Someone via NYTimes

In fact, it's often the person calling for police who ends up dead: When a call to the police for help turns deadly

Police tend to target the most vulnerable folks in our communities: Half of People Killed by Police Have a Disability, Report

Police don't even try to protect children, as we saw with the Uvalde school shooting and the Parkland school shooting: Parkland shooting sheriff's deputy Scot Peterson found not guilty on all counts

But school resource officers do harm students regularly.

Police have contributed massively to the “drug war” by enforcing laws that help no one but harm many.

Police in Columbus specifically have a long record of k!lling our community members, mostly Black folks. A few to look up:

  • Andre Hill
  • Casey Goodson Jr
  • Donovan Lewis
  • Henry Green
  • Ma'Khia Bryant
  • Julius Tate
  • Tyre King

And there are so many more. These cops are shooting and killing people roughly once a month or so.

Police in Franklin County shot 13 people in 2024, killing 10. See where those cases stand via dispatch

What the Hell Is Going on at the Columbus Police Department?

In 2020 CPD “ran amok” and had a blast beating the crap out of protesters: Federal Judge Bans Tear Gas on Nonviolent Protesters in Columbus (archive)

Police also tend to have white nationalist views. This is what these protests are against, are they not?: Prevalence of white supremacists in law enforcement demands drastic change

So hopefully y'all can see how it's about much more than just protest safety, it's about recognizing the oppressive nature of policing and knowing that not only are they unsafe to be at protests, but they are unsafe to be anywhere. ACAB.

written by my friend & comrade and re-posted, thank you

It is my hope for 50501 to ally with local organizations and all working people to become a fighting mass movement against all oligarchs. For this aim I sought opinions & feedback on the 50501 event from protesters and organizers in Columbus. Here's my honest report, analysis, and suggestions.

Most frequently, I got questions about your identity, motives, specific goals and political demands. In attempt to answer their questions or at least provide some context and speculation, I have shown them debrief threads from the reddit community, and described my impressions of ohio discord discussions.* But this has not been a satisfactory answer.

*: I understand 50501 discord is meant to be a public forum. I apologize if yall regret I have reported on 50501 ohio discord discussions to my own protester affinity groups. I will respect your boundaries and stop if asked for that.

Ultimately my friends & comrades generally feel quite suspicious, which I know is quite apparent to yall. However, many attended your protest, and that participation shows some openness, albeit reluctant.

On cops

I'm worried by 50501's overall neutrality and individual receptiveness to interactions with Columbus cops. (Yall may be aware of a tiktok video of the POV individual conversing with the CPD “dialogue officers”.) Some individuals in 50501 Ohio discord engaging in internal critiques feel similarly. I urge yall to listen to them, and do not trust Columbus or any police.

Our cops fraternize with known MAGA hate groups. Remember the neo-nazis in Cinci?

neonazi banner dropped on overpass near Cincinnati, Ohio: America for the white man

LOCKLAND, Ohio (WKRC) - A new video released by the Lockland School District appears to show an Evendale police officer and a U-Haul of neo-Nazi demonstrators right next to a Lockland school, minutes before dismissal.

Also: